Merry Christmas anons. This lurker has had some hard hard days. My family is very worried about me…their gifts this evening tells me that. So much love and concern, I fall apart when I am alone. I know the Lord is right there but I cannot find him. I see him in people around me and I have seen him here but right now I cannot find him yet my heart knows he is with me during this very trying time. My heart it both full and broken at the same time and I do not understand how that can be….anyway. Sending blessings to all and if you can say a small prayer for this anon…