so you just gave up?
when you could possibly help one child escape from that hell?
Psychiatry is a farce, it is fake. If they think you have a mental illness, they have to report it to the state. Go to the bookstore and read about grieving. Ask a friend, a social worker, maybe a psychologist if you need to talk to someone - they can't prescribe drugs. Be wary of anyone who wants to get inside your head. Regular exercise is good for anxiety. And PRAY. The Lord is there and waiting to help.
You are wonderful anon. Many people shy away from the death experience. You have done a great, great service to your father by being there for his last breath. I had a similar experience and am still grieving.
I would definitely read that book, if you chose to write it.