Oh my.

It is strange thought. My whole life is fake or something. It forces me to consider all the people in my life are using me, or inadvertently using me because they are brainwashed themselves.

I will tell you more. All males are programmed "handler". I woke up in a cabal cult under the impression I had been subconsciously instructing or something? I am not sure. I don't even know if it was true. I started to hear the world different. It sort of felt like I was going crazy. But I could see the whole cult structure. It was like they had their own system of synchronicity. I guess that is what I think about the structure. I can't "see" any activity.

Okay. Let me explain. Cause I think it is interesting and relevant. So like, people experience synchronicity/coincidence, whatever you want to call life. I think people experience synchronicity within their "energy" system. Cause we are dealing with occultism or occultist structures that have carried over from the past. I have to consider that all this is leftover from cult activity. I say again. I can't see it. I have never seen anything to say "cult" except weird psychological experiences where I thought I could identify shit that was going on. I think these energy systems, or systems of synchronicity like "attract" or "vacuum" people. There are like places where cult members "go". How are they operating. I don't know. I have considered telepathy. But that seems outrageous. They are not communicating in any way shape or form that I can see. Not regarding anything abnormal. Cause I was totally brainwashed in it all, I couldn't see a thing til I woke up to it and freaked the fuck out. That was years ago. I float back and forth between like attributing my ideas to psychosis and thinking it is real.

Anyway. I was homeless during parts of this period. I could see the trafficking. I was like sitting on top of it. I was plugged into it. But I wasn't "doing" anything. Just standing on the sidewalk watching stuff happen that looked like trafficking. It was like I had always been there, but never noticed the "trafficking". How does woman x know to get in z car? I can't quite say that it makes sense. I may be imagining the trafficking and stuff. The trafficking is really occurring, is it related to some magical cult, I don't know. Whatever I saw had no "external" indications that there was something criminal going on.

Okay. So I am dating this girl. She is my girlfriend. I like her. I wake up to this cult thing, well, i am a male, I have alpha programming. If I have one, I got them all. If MKU, I am like an mku guru. I just don't talk about it cause I don't have any fucking sauce at the end of the day. I might as well be bullshitin. It is also hard to articulate like…. i saw it… but I didn't see it.

>>12546764

Anyway. I thought my girlfriend might actually be my beta. I questioned her about the thoughts I was having she didn't not validate my experiences. So. We were living in this van, her sister got cancer and she went back to her home state to visit and I didn't go. As soon as she left she changed her facebook profile from like a happy picture of her and I, to this crazy looking black cat an her email was crazykat or something along those lines. Anyway. I started thinking this girl is all sorts of people. I start thinking she is this girl that was kidnapped from Texas when she was a kid. I thought I found all these pictures of her. I was looking through backpage and craigslist for her. I like found a picture that I swore matched her birthmarks and shit. It was odd. Like I had been with her a year, those totally looked like her breasts. Okay. this gets better. I don't know what the fuck is going on. I call her and start asking for her to take some pictures of her birthmarks and shit. I can't prove anything and I had made all these strange assumptions and assertions. Look. I called the fucking FBI. I told them I thought my girlfriend was being trafficked. I don't know. She is a nurse and happily married now. Okay. Better stuff. Her dad is like a small town preacher for a <insert not well known church>. I know what it is, but I am not trying to dox people who may not have done anything wrong. It isn't relevant. Okay. So I am paranoid. I am a bad guy. I am freaking out though I think my girlfriend may be in some kind of trouble. I read her e-mail. There was an e-mail to her father asking if he had abused her? He was a bit angry maybe that she would think that. There was another e-mail from this friend of hers that I met. He is an older dude, quite a bit older. I can't remember how they met or anything. But the guy did tantric massages for a living. The e-mail seemed to imply he was asking my girlfriend how to get into a more "lucrative" side of massage or something. Okay. Anyway. It is possible she was trafficking or self. Hell if I know. I started thinking her dad was using her as a model to fund his church radio or something fucking weird like that. I don't know. I seriously told the FBI, I have schizophrenia, I don't know if I am making a valid claim but I feel like I should tell someone. Okay. I do have more sauce. I think it is great sauce if you catch the point of the "spam"

like I think it is important at this point to emphasize that I am like started noticing her strange behavior. She became very uncomfortable when I touche a certain place on her body. It wasn't a sexual place. I just don't want to tell the whole world in case it is real. I just don't want to tell everyone how t mess with these systems. I know what is enough and too much. If it is real, what the fuck do I know. It is interesting enough that I have a well developed theory about these structures because I had psychological content that was directly related to all this cult shit. This is real life sauce. I didn't see it as sauce when it was happening. I was doing irrational things. I thought aliens were coming that didn't, I thought a bunch of weird stuff. I was living in a van and I always knew what city we needed to go to for the next step of this strange journey I was on in my brain. But it was real to me at the time. Anyway. Why did this woman agree with my psychotic delusions? Why would she let me say an alien space ship is coming let's get ready and then she takes me serious. She followed me everywhere I went on some stupid journey that was all in my mind. Why would she do that. It isn't rational.

>>12546768

I started noticing a weird pattern with her. I started prying at the stuff that seemed strange to me in her behavior. I started noticing oddities. I was breaking up with her, but we lived in a van together, so it took a while for the official break-up to occur. I kept wanting to make it work, but i figured out she was leading me on in some strange way. But I was trying to get out. I kept telling her I was leaving in the morning. The morning would come and she would beg me to stay another day. The night would come and she would be angry and kicking me out of "her" van in the middle of the night. She whacked out. Would scream and yell, hit me once. Not hard, but shit. I don't hit people. I never been hit in a relationship so it surprised me. Either way. Each morning she begged me to stay and then she would kick me out. It didn't take too long to notice. Okay. I call her out on the pattern and made a decision to get out of the van and go. I was getting resolute and her game was over. She became like mentally ill. Started acting like… strange.

I don't know how we ended up at the hospital. I really don't. We may have just been sleeping in the parking lot or smoking a joint there or something. Anyway. Somewhere at some point she had told me that she was thought she might have this borderline personality disorder she was reading about on the internet. Either way. I start thinking she is going to hurt me. I get out of the van. I start going inside the hospital. I started telling the ambulance people outside the outside, there was a group of people, to help me. I thought she was trying to hurt me cause she was chasing me across the parking lot. I told them she had her hand in her pocket and there was a knife and I didn't want her near me. It was true America. What in the hell is going on. Anyway. I don't remember. All I know is I for some reason consented to talk to a doctor, or I wanted to talk to a doctor. I told them I knew how to make a free energy device. I thought I had a model. Wtf. Anyway. They take me in for it.. give me a "gang bang" with a "b-52". A bunch of people come in to your hospital room, hold you down, and inject you with "b52". It is like benedryl and ther psychiatric shit. You CANNOT stay away. You can try as hard as you want, I swear, you will be out for a few hours. Okay. Whatever. You see the problem? How much of this is delusion and what is true. It gets clouded.

But wtf was she following me around the county for. I finally got out of the van and continued with life. Anyway. A ton of other shit happened. It is also possible that "waking up in a cult" sends you into a psychosis cause your sense of reality and safety is all twisted. So then you get psychotic delusion mixed with a real cult and it gets strange.

>>12546787

I think the betas might be aware they are betas. Like they know the cult is all around them and they are stuck in it and they learn compliance and fear.

The other question I have is what keeps these cult members from blowing the whistle. It don't think it is some super-dedication in which only the "cabal slaves" speak out about it. I think they fear the cabal structure all around them and believe they will die if they say anything.

It is all odd for me though cause all this trafficking / cult crap started way before Q.

I guess it is all about figuring out the difference between a victim and a member. The victims are brainwashed. They don't know they are in a cult. But you have victim handlers and victim victim. I am under the impression the alpha is "washed" and doesn't know. The beta, or some beta, woke up before the alphas. They are just sitting stuck in a system. I do want to dispel a common misconception while I am at it. If MKU is real. The majority of victims, the large majority of victims are kept powerless financially. It is your tradition john/worker relationship. In these situations the trafficking is, real. It is actual trafficking, negotiated with money and stuff. Then there are people who look like girlfriend/boyfriend. They look like a happy couple and honestly, washed people are not unhappy, they don't know they are part of some cult structure. I think it is all about energy generation. So you create like a spark or tantric energy or some shit when you are "involved" with someone. So there are just happy, sleeping people, that benefit and participate in the cult system and they don't have a clue what is going on. You are talking two nice kids from the mega-church or something. Just random people that ain't doing any trafficking. But in some way the cult is using their "relationship" and energy to fuel their occultist system.

>>12546803

.I guess in a way I still benefit and I am still stuck in it. I am federally disabled. I like in my mothers house about 10 miles from hers. It is an old house that has been in my family since like 1945. Either way. Am I somehow still part of their energy system? I am not gonna get too far into it. What are all these "victims" and people are living in "cult" spaces all over supposed to do? How do poor people get up and move? If it is real. It will happen like a storm and we will al be free from their system. You are talking millions of people who are unremittingly participating in the cabal occultist slavery system. It is almost like they "set" the "brainwashing" on automatic. Like nobody in the cult knows there in a fucking cult and they are all brainwashed. I don't really buy that either though. There is some answer in between. Where some of the members are "woke" to the cult and actively participating, but it seems the majority are unaware.

I think it could be all real. It is based on my beliefs about the nature of prayer and meditation and occultism though. I believe there is like a physical happening in some "quantum" field when we pray or cast a spell. People get together in groups to intensify or multiply the effect.

Is meme-magic real?

I guess these are personal understandings of the world around you. I think there are real, measurable effects of "intention" or whatever.

I think the government is hiding it.

It is like the biggest secret ever.

Do you know what would happen if the government told everyone magic is real?

There would be adolescent teens casting magic spells in there room so they would get a good grade on a test they don't want to study for.

I think it is a chicken or egg issue cause I have read that the tribal shaman would sometimes have a problem with the chief because the chief would blame the shaman for all the problems.

Would people start to wonder who caused them to wreck their car? Who's prayer wrecked my car? But, my opinion, you wrecked your own fucking car.

Blaming magic is like blaming idea. Magic doesn't "make" people do things. I mean, I have never felt compelled to act based on someone else's magic or prayer. I have never felt the effect of it at all.

>>12546824

it is sad if true.

l didn't feel responsible in any way. Like I am so sorry I was brainwashed from birth. I was seriously like living life thinking nothing about cults. It changes everything in your life and you have to re-order your experience. It is like, was every girlfriend I ever had like a cult member? Did they know or were we just a happy couple?

I don't know maybe that is a strange thought and I too am experiencing stockholm syndrome. I am stiil brainwashed if I am considering that all this is a fairytale;

Which is confusing. It is easier to leave it as unknown cause I don't have evidence. I am diagnosed as psychotic. I can't separate because I can be gaslit so easy on the validity of my thoughts. I guess it is easier not to think about it. What am I supposed to do? call the FBI and tell them my mom is in a cult and my evidence is some shit about the illuminati on the evidence. I am just waiting for the military to arrest the cabal people and stuff. pretend like my mom isn't in a cult. if she is she is going to jail and i am going to testify against her. it will be a sad deal to find out my mom doesn't love me and has been intentionally manipulating me. It is much easier to think she is washed too and doesn't know what is going on. Who fucking knows.

>>12546907

whatever.

you try waking up in a fucking cult that has been brainwashing you for 30 years.

that shit is fucking insane.

If there is a cult

I believe there is also a plan.

I have been saying shit about all this for years.

If the cult was real and my experiences were real with it. It would have killed me.

I feel like it tried, but I was saved by the military.

It felt like someone else besides the cabal is in control of MK ultra..I guess in a way I still benefit and I am still stuck in it. I am federally disabled. I like in my mothers house about 10 miles from hers. It is an old house that has been in my family since like 1945. Either way. Am I somehow still part of their energy system? I am not gonna get too far into it. What are all these "victims" and people are living in "cult" spaces all over supposed to do? How do poor people get up and move? If it is real. It will happen like a storm and we will al be free from their system. You are talking millions of people who are unremittingly participating in the cabal occultist slavery system. It is almost like they "set" the "brainwashing" on automatic. Like nobody in the cult knows there in a fucking cult and they are all brainwashed. I don't really buy that either though. There is some answer in between. Where some of the members are "woke" to the cult and actively participating, but it seems the majority are unaware.

I think it could be all real. It is based on my beliefs about the nature of prayer and meditation and occultism though. I believe there is like a physical happening in some "quantum" field when we pray or cast a spell. People get together in groups to intensify or multiply the effect.

Is meme-magic real?

I guess these are personal understandings of the world around you. I think there are real, measurable effects of "intention" or whatever.

I think the government is hiding it.

It is like the biggest secret ever.

Do you know what would happen if the government told everyone magic is real?

There would be adolescent teens casting magic spells in there room so they would get a good grade on a test they don't want to study for.

I think it is a chicken or egg issue cause I have read that the tribal shaman would sometimes have a problem with the chief because the chief would blame the shaman for all the problems.

Would people start to wonder who caused them to wreck their car? Who's prayer wrecked my car? But, my opinion, you wrecked your own fucking car.

Blaming magic is like blaming idea. Magic doesn't "make" people do things. I mean, I have never felt compelled to act based on someone else's magic or prayer. I have never felt the effect of it at all..I guess in a way I still benefit and I am still stuck in it. I am federally disabled. I like in my mothers house about 10 miles from hers. It is an old house that has been in my family since like 1945. Either way. Am I somehow still part of their energy system? I am not gonna get too far into it. What are all these "victims" and people are living in "cult" spaces all over supposed to do? How do poor people get up and move? If it is real. It will happen like a storm and we will al be free from their system. You are talking millions of people who are unremittingly participating in the cabal occultist slavery system. It is almost like they "set" the "brainwashing" on automatic. Like nobody in the cult knows there in a fucking cult and they are all brainwashed. I don't really buy that either though. There is some answer in between. Where some of the members are "woke" to the cult and actively participating, but it seems the majority are unaware.

I think it could be all real. It is based on my beliefs about the nature of prayer and meditation and occultism though. I believe there is like a physical happening in some "quantum" field when we pray or cast a spell. People get together in groups to intensify or multiply the effect.

Is meme-magic real?

I guess these are personal understandings of the world around you. I think there are real, measurable effects of "intention" or whatever.

I think the government is hiding it.

It is like the biggest secret ever.

Do you know what would happen if the government told everyone magic is real?

There would be adolescent teens casting magic spells in there room so they would get a good grade on a test they don't want to study for.

I think it is a chicken or egg issue cause I have read that the tribal shaman would sometimes have a problem with the chief because the chief would blame the shaman for all the problems.

Would people start to wonder who caused them to wreck their car? Who's prayer wrecked my car? But, my opinion, you wrecked your own fucking car.

Blaming magic is like blaming idea. Magic doesn't "make" people do things. I mean, I have never felt compelled to act based on someone else's magic or prayer. I have never felt the effect of it at all.

>>12546958

not really.

I am telling you some shit that I may not be real.

It is a fairly elaborate waste of time though.

I believe it enough to sit here and tell you about it,

>>12546996

i am busy doing patriot shit

ya'll do the news so i can read it

seriously. if you hear me out on this. I am going to make some outrageous claim to you. I have very good sauce if you look at it.

I am going to give you evidence to prove that schizophrenic's psychotic content is legitimate. It may not be legit truth I am speaking about alll the babble rants. I told you a hundred times I don't know if it is real. I am giving you facts with this though.

I am going to show you, with evidence. that I think this schizo issue in America can get reduced a bit. Western medicine paradigm mostly "knows" that schizophrenia is a not able to be cured because there is no medicine to cure it.

If they stop giving the medicine to people by force and give them a safe place to have a psychotic experience for a while, they will recover to some %.

You all can tell me to get out of here if you want. I am experiencing something meaningful and i KNOW it. It doesn't mean I am having a "unique" experience. You can tell me I am a shill all day. I think it is more relevant than everything in this fucking bread. If you look at my sauce. I think I got fun facts you mother fuckers don't know. Nah, ya'll are crazy mother fuckers I will get a few of you though.

Carl Jung, the psychologist, based most of his work on his writing in the Red Book. The red book is just a transcription of this dudes psychotic experience. Look it up. Dude was fucking schizo. If all this nonsense that the schizo is experiencing is meaningless, how did carl jung get value out of it. I don't want to be carl jung, but I am interested in reviewing my own subconscious mind.

It is like I was cursed with this crazy brain. I gotta carve out a place for the schizo in this world and I am telling the honest to god truth to you.

facts:

in 3rd world countries, schizophrenics recover at higher rates than 1st world countries. Western Medicine vs. No Access to medicine.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1140960/

The psychotic experience is stopped in western medicine with pharmaceuticals. The patient never finishes having the experience. The schizophrenic stays nuts for life and goes catatonic on medicine.

The psychotic experience in 3rd world countries run free and people have higher rates of returning to get an education and higher rates of employment.

Carl Jung - Psychotic as fuck

https://carljungdepthpsychologysite.blog/2020/09/09/carl-jung-avoided-a-psychosis-the-red-book/#.YAK3IBaIaUk

I have been doing this 10 years. Call me an idiot. I think I am like doing shit in my brain and nobody knows it. I like doing it I guess? It is like it sucks to suck at life. Nobody knows what I am doing when I tell them. But you mother fuckers like sauce and evidence for your crazy shit and I have it. I consider myself a psychenaut. I am "crazy", but all "crazy" people are having pretty similar experiences, or range of experiences. I put 3 articles there. if you don't like one, go to another. You are being lied to about the nature of schizophrenia. I think you should check this out. I am trying to inject something here. Not a new conspiracy, a new fact.

Why do people act like all these schizos are talking nonsense to them? I mean they might be. But they might be doin' something too. Apparently a bunch of these science folk say schizophrenia is some weird shit. Who knows. I became a christian because I had a crazy experience. I had not god before. I am much more content with Jesus and the bible.

https://mh.bmj.com/content/early/2020/12/06/medhum-2020-012021

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3827668/

https://www.dur.ac.uk/news/research/?itemno=30366

>>12547182

I actually agree that it can be. I have noticed some schizophrenics are having experiences that are fearful and demonic. It is a range of shared experiences, not that all psychosis is identiical. I believe I had a demon but God kicked it out. It was technically a ghost that got me when I was young. Or that is what the voices told me. What if the "demon" got kicked out by a fake God that is actually the real demon? I also think you can have "sly" demons. I don't trust fucking voices in my head. I don't know where that shit comes from. But I can't help but living within this framework they set up. I don't live in it but it lives in me. I dont fucking know.

I am psychotic right now.

but I am not hearing any voices.

I am just super engaged.with ranting on the internet about whatever the fuck i want to.

like it just is what it is.

i do weird shit around here as one of your many local schizos

i don't like diggin' too much and researching

i did so documentaries and this and that for years and i just burnt

i made ya'll this collage a couple years ago

it took a ridiculously long time

but i was trying to "archive" in a different way.

I think I got like 250-300 breads and about 3 collages in each bread. I don't know how many I made. I just made straight collages 14 hours a day for a couple months or something

it is all crap memes. i didn't go through and think "shill meme"

i did have some standards.

I attempted to not to put in racist or muh-joo stuff.

I tried not to include magariot crap.

No qclocks or infographics and shit.

Anyway. I have always kind of been a shill. I don't know if the Q is real. I don't believe shit I can't prove. But I got my raffle ticket and shit. I hope the patriots win.

I have always thought that it didn't matter if Q was real or not cause the Q thing was a "movement" of some sort when I saw it.

i am #walkaway crowd, so i kinda sorta fit in around here. so i just do whatever the fuck i want cause i am the schizo shill dude that hope q is real and shit.

i been spamming my crazy at shit on ya'll for 3 years

i tell people i aint a shill.

i am a patriot.

like i don't care. people call me a fucking robot. aflb is was calling austin steinbart last week cause i was making those stupid mp3 recordings last week.

i dont know about that aflb

he chases me around and think i am a bad dude

he attacks with strange stuff, like me being austin steinbart. and he is really obsessive about chasing around my content.

i can't tell if aflb actually believes in the austin steinbart theory he was dedicated to last week or if it is a smear campaign.

aflb also posts his wetware posts about "insidious operators" running wetware on people with malicious intent to harness their energy or some shit. I dunno ya'll. surely you have seen that shit. he called me 5 picture silent picture poster. lol

i was experimenting with subliminally messaging. I think it is super relevant considered everyone is brainwashed by this crap somehow. Anyone. It super pissed off AFLB. a couple other people too. whatever. i wasn't being abusive in any way. it was harmless. but it was wild that AFLB took me so serious. cause i didn't even know if my little schizo plan was stupid.

i still don't know if it was anything. aflb may just be a fucking nutjob affirming my insanity.

Yea. I told you I have been here spamming shill content at you for 3 years in my post.

Like, hey, thanks buddy. Do you think I have never heard that before?

It makes me laugh out loud in real life cause I can't tell if you are a shill or not.

I just told you a major disease in America is not incurable and how to cure it. I gave you evidence. So you are either stupid or a shill.

so what if i write my blog? i just told you how to fix a disease that you didn't know how to fix. i dunno. maybe not. maybe i am fucking insane right now. but wahtever.