So you need ID to enter OR exit our people's capital in Washington D.C.

But you did not need an ID, citizenship, hell a pulse in over a quarter of a million cases, to vote for Joe Biden in Philidelphia, Detroit, Atlanta or Milwalkee.

Fuckin KEK

Masks save lives. But why stop there?

Masks save lives. But it’s not enough. I’ve discovered a few more steps we can take to finally flatten the curve once and for all.

1. Science and data engineers have proven we could end the 38,000 deaths and 4.4 million injuries per year from motor accidents if we get rid of cars. It’s the compassionate thing. Just walk, it’s not that hard, geez.

1. Science has proven that we could end the 300,000 deaths per year from obesity if we ban sugar, ice cream and simple carbs. Think of how many lives we can save! Anyone who is against this is selfish.

1. Do you use a smart phone? You’re a soulless monster. Every year dozens of phone assembly line workers jump to their death from the terrible and brutal working conditions. You also are a racist who supports slave labor of black people in Africa who mine the rare earth minerals you use in your phone. Not only that, but tens of people die every year now from phone related accidents like walking off of cliffs while taking pictures. If you continue to use a phone, you support suicide and slave labor and don’t care about the deaths of those people, you trash white supremacist.

1. You know what else kills people? Cancer. You might be surprised to find out that actually almost everything causes cancer, we’ll have to ban it all. But don’t worry, we’re all in this together, except for people who who continue to smoke, eat potatoes, and drink alcohol because that stuff causes cancer.

1. We must ban it all for ALL people even if only a certain segment is technically at risk. It’s the compassionate thing. Don’t be like those people who are against potatoes because they’re not at risk, they’re just anti-science conspiracy theorists who read mom blogs. Potatoes cause cancer and MUST BE BANNED. IT”S THE NEW NORMAL.

1. Every year, hundreds of people die from just doing their jobs like logging, fishing, and cleaning out poop tanks.

1. If it’s “too far” for you to ban these jobs so we can FREAKING SAVE LIVES, YOU DON’T LOVE JESUS. Think of the POOP TANK CLEANERS and their families.

1. In 2019, 500 people died from weather related events. This is hard for all of us, but our new normal must include banning the weather. It is the only way forward for a compassionate society.

1. Likewise, per year our country has over a million deaths from animals. Modern day little Freddy Kreugers like mosquitos, snakes, dogs, flies, snails and tapeworms.

1. I don’t care how much Fido means to your family, refusal to give up your dog is LITERALLY VIOLENCE against marginalized groups. Tell your annoying white aunt Karen to stop denying science and put down her mutt.

1. Don’t even get me started on diamonds, shoes and chocolate. We don’t even KNOW how many children die from the slave labor production of those commodities. We must flatten this curve.

1. I literally couldn’t believe it when I found out and now I’m terrified of leaving my house. EVERY SINGLE YEAR, 35,000 people die from falling. FALLING. Why the hell hasn’t the government put out a mandate requiring people to stop falling? I’ve literally been inches from death my entire life because of this absolute failure upheld by systemic racism. We must enforce a national bubble suit mandate. It can double as a mask and falling prevention. You must wear it all times, even planes. No exceptions.

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