>>12578410 lb

Yep. People take it really serious and they don't believe it. I am telling you I lived it. I don't know that God promises everyone a house if they trust the voice of God. I don't know how it works. God made a promise to me, I believed it, and it came true. I was basically given a nice home compared to my homeless life. I got on federal disability and they sent me a 17k check.

I have begun a new life of attachment.

my dad passed a couple years ago so I have his ashes now. I keep thinking about that when I wrote it.

I have a home now and a dog and a garden and grow my weeds and stuff. I have a bunch of instruments I haven't learned to play and a new gaming computer I kinda like am dreading getting rid of it all again.

I wonder. I should probably stay humble or God will pull a fucking Job on me again.

I had a different christian experience than all these other Christians and they don't see eye to eye with me on the issues.

I like scripture they don't teach.

I was raised in sin. was this not god's choice?

I like the story about the workers in the vineyard because I came later to the Christian party.

I like the story of Job.

God took everything away from me. I am 34, I lost all my teeth being a drunk slutty sinner. It isn't quite the same. Obviously.

It is difficult to understand suffering.

The way the voice explained it to me was that I could be well trained in sin for God.

I would understand the nature and power of the devil.

I do. I get it. I was a earth worshippin sinning dude that hates christians because I blamed them for the war in the middle east. I did. I didn't understand religion, I wasn't taught relgions. I just thought it was dumb.

I was drunk schizophrenic.

Now I am a sober psychotic.

I don't know. There isn't a church for people like me except AA.

i wanna goto the normal people church

I liked the old testament. shit.

What can I say. I think some of the stuff in there is pretty damn important.

Yea. I think it is my new mission in life. I am having a mid-life identity crisis psychotic episode on qresearch for the world to see.

whatever. if this is what a psychotic dude is thinking about. it may not be like the best content on earth.

it is part of my experience.

I have thoughts and i have to write them down super obsessively. I am like journaling here. I don't know it s is iike what I feel i am supposed to be doing with my life\

people call me a shil and say i write long posts

i dont really even care if people read

like I don't know if I could stop

I guess I could. but that would be really stupid.

cause i been doing this whole psychotic thing for a long time and shit is fucking weird right now. for sure.

>>12578829

It is funny to me though

You can't stop a schizophrenic from babbling at you. You can't ration with a schizophrenic

The schizophrenic is locked inside a scenario of the mind in which the babbling is much much more important than anything else going on and there is nothing anyone can change about that lol

like. it is my life. I think it is important, so I say it to people. yes, schizophrenics are basically always trying to tell people stuff

usually the same thing over and over

and they just dont listen

People say we are irrational.

I will tell you what else is weird.

I had all these crazy psychotic experiences and like became a saved christian and actually switched my faith and am like fairly serious about it. I don't take scripture lightly. I don't know what hell is and I don't know all this stuff. I just know that I want to go to the good place and if I need to not eat pigs and shellfish to get there. I guess I will give it up. I just learned that the other day. I really like bacon and biscuits and gravy though.

I am like a christian not christian

i feel way more dedicated to scripture

like people want to help me interpret bible.

i don't know. I read the bible once.

It made perfect sense to me and I don't need to read it again. I might one day just for fun. I am christian and I don't need anyone to help me interpret shit until they can prove that i don't see just fine with 2 eyes and common sense. the words are written on the page and they try to tell me what they mean.