Twas a dark and stormy Thursday night when we find ourselves in Hunter Biden's car as he speeds home through the pouring rain, gusty winds swaying his car back and forth as the lightning in the distance illuminates his weary face. "I need muh fuckin rocks", he utters under his breath as he reaches the driveway to his abode. He unlocks the door to his empty and dark house and walks in, just before he can take off his coat he sees a strange red ribbon down the hallway, slightly glimmering like diamonds with each lightning strike. Intrigued by this anomaly he starts to walk towards the ribbon to investigate. The glimmering intensifies as he makes his way down the hallway, "holy shit muh rocks" he exclaims when he realizes the treasure sitting upon the red ribbon. The once slow and curious steps are now a full on sprint as Hunter rushes to get zooted.
That was the last we ever heard from Hunter.