Some say a comet will fall from the sky

Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves

Followed by fault lines that cannot sit still

Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits

And some say the end is near

Some say we'll see Armageddon soon

I certainly hope we will

I sure could use a vacation from this

Stupid shit, silly shit, stupid shit

One great big festering neon distraction

I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied

Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim

'Cause Mom's gonna fix it all soon

Mom's comin' 'round to put it back the way it ought to be