"Oh, Jesus, these two kids are getting married."

"Great news!"

"But sir, they have no wine to serve, only water."

"I'll take care of that. My gift to the couple."

Messenger runs back to wedding planner: "Jesus is going to turn the water into wine."

Jesus talks to one or two of his close friends. Wine shows up at reception.

MSM of the day: Jesus turns water into wine.

Fast-forward 400 AD: Nicene Council.

"This fucking religion is getting out of hand. Now they want access to the scrolls, all of them, including and especially the eyewitness accounts."

"We can't have that."

"No, but we should turn their ardor to our advantage."

"How can we do that?"

"We make him a god for them to worship. After all, they are only cattle. They can't possibly grasp what he was talking about, let alone act on it."