Who do you call when you've been totally outed?
The Priest-App
newfag officer from a tin-can went for a short tour on our sub. While in the chow-line salad bar he asked what is that red button for on the salad bar - squid told him not to press it - he said why and pressed it. Fire-stopping foam filled the galley. Ruining the fresh baked chocolate chip cookies - the captains favorite. Needless to say - we were ordered to duct tape him to a missile tube until we got back to port.
True story.