Doctors are not allowed, by law, to reveal what the patient tells them. As far as I can remember, I did not feel comfortable - feeling comfortable. I intentionally made myself uncomfortable - to shed the fear of being comfortable.
Nuts.
If memory suppression/selective memory is a thing - then I have it.
I can't figure out why I was doomed from so early on. No obvious pointers. Except my parents got divorced when I was like three…