JESUS LOVES YOU
Interesting read, pdfs probably got trackers in it though.
Depends on the advise u seek
Repeating dubs.
You sound like what I was / am. True happiness only comes when you learn how to love yourself. Internal bliss is the best thing ever and it’s lasts a long time. Other anons have probably suggested this, but try frequency based mediation and try focusing on your heart chakra.
When you try to hard in life, sometimes you fail. Trust your heart and try and declassify your pineal gland (lugol's iodine). Get out to nature and ground yourself with a little sun gazing thrown in. Career wise, it’s always good to follow a passion and try and turn that which you are good at into a career. Although remember money isn’t everything and is the route of all evil.
Peace n respect.