>>13612160 (lb)
>U.S. military assets have fudged a covert mission to apprehend House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, arresting instead a Pelosi doppelganger donning a lifelike mask that mimicked every hideous detail of Pelosi’s face, right down to the most deeply engrained wrinkles.
For a completely bullshit article, that is an excellent leading paragraph. Noice.