Kicking ass BO?BV's
Thank you
Greedy Pick is your new tag, go for it!
1+3+6+6+6+4+4+4=34
different id to the baker fuck-knuckle
kek
Amid Gasoline Shortage, Antifa Switches To Molotov Mocktails
U.S.—As the gas shortages continue following the Colonial Pipeline hack, Antifa members have been forced to find alternatives to throwing Molotov cocktails. Now the well-known, mostly peaceful freedom fighters have resorted to throwing non-flammable liquids.
“Since gas is so hard to come by, we’ve had to adjust and start throwing Molotov mocktails instead at all of the evil, fascist pigs!” said Sloan Finch, a local Antifa leader. “And while our Molotovs no longer contain gasoline anymore, they still pack the same punch and show that the fight for justice can not be stopped.”
“Not to mention the fresh fruity, aroma from the mocktails is kinda nice,” Sloan continued. “And the delightful scent combined with our double masking is almost enough to cover up our mob’s body odor.”
Many Antifa members welcomed the new change as it was better for the environment anyway. “Burning mocktails is way better! Now we can lower our carbon footprint and never go to an evil gas station again!”
Police officers have also welcomed the change, but have led the Antifa mob to believe that throwing mocktails is totally way worse than throwing fire-spreading Molotovs.
https://babylonbee.com/news/antifa-switches-to-throwing-molotov-mocktails-during-gas-crisis
CDC Says You No Longer Have To Wear A Life Jacket Outside In Case Of Rain
ATLANTA, GA—The CDC has updated its guidelines and announced that you no longer have to wear a life jacket outside in case of rain. The guidelines had been put in place last year during a particularly rainy March, and although many experts had claimed we would just have to wear the life jackets for a couple of weeks, mandates remained in place for well over a year.
But now, even hardcore pro-life jacket agencies like the CDC have admitted it is time to take the life jackets off and go about our lives.
"Look, unfortunately, the rainy season is just about over," said CDC Director Rochelle Walensky. "We had hoped it would last forever, but even we must admit, you no longer have to put a life jacket on when going outside." However, the updated rule only applies to people who have taken swimming lessons at an approved swim lesson site. Still, many say this is progress over the strict and sometimes anti-science position taken by the CDC throughout the flood season.
"But we will still remain vigilant, and life jackets may become a seasonal thing worn every October through April to stay safe."
Despite the updated guidelines, many liberals announced they would continue to wear life jackets until the chance of drowning in a sudden freak flash flood hit 0%.
"This is way too soon," said Krissy Mackinaw of Austin, Texas as she watched people walk by without life jackets. "Look at these anti-science neanderthals walking around!" Her state of Texas removed the life jacket mandate several months ago, causing many experts to predict there would be a massive spike in drownings, but none of those predictions of doom came true. "You're all going to die!" she screamed at passersby as she put a snorkel on.
https://babylonbee.com/news/cdc-says-you-no-longer-have-to-wear-a-life-jacket-outside-in-case-of-rain
https://twitter.com/DanScavino/status/1393289628732510214
General McInerney, [15.05.21 03:12]
Another CNN anchor will be going out the door very soon.
https://t.me/GeneralMcInerney/949
Yep.
how do you want me to frame it then?
Someone was a liability and over played their hand. Whack
Darn!