You should dry swallowing 50 feet of barbed-wire and then yanking it out of your asshole. Best decision I ever made.
It ranks up there in my top 10 best life choices, just like convincing a Christian family to let me circumcise their son and suck him off. At first they didn't agree to it and called me a sicko. But I told them I am Jewish and how bigoted they are for not allowing me to put my herpes infest lips around their little boys penis.