lol
Seeking enjoyment will only chase it away, in the long term. You eat dinner, then want dessert. You eat ice cream, but it makes you thirsty. You drink water, now you feel bloated. From desire to unfulfilling desire, leading to unintended but entirely predictable consequences and some degree of unhappiness even as we fulfill those desires.
If you find it depressing, you are lacking the rest of the related information on this topic, and judging based on false assumptions.
:)
I'm glad you found help!