How an Aspie Found Happiness in a Neurotypical World
Out in the real world the term Autist is unknown. Instead they use Aspie
https://www.aane.org/aspie-found-happiness-neurotypical-world/
Well, it was not easy to find, it required a phenomenal amount of hard work, and it was not achieved overnight, but I did manage to find it. I know that I’m not the only one with an Asperger’s profile who is happy, so if you are an Aspie and have not yet found happiness, why not join us? I have a few thoughts to share with you if you are considering committing to this endeavor:
First off, I have learned not to think in terms of “there’s me, and then there’s everybody else” or “I’m not neurotypical like they are” and I think instead in terms of “we are all human”. You will notice that I use the word neurotypical a few times in this piece and in its title, but only because I know it is a word with which many people in the Autism Spectrum community are familiar and can understand. However, as you read along, know that I extremely dislike this word because I feel that its use makes it too easy for people to categorize other people as either being “normal” or “not normal”, which I believe is divisive and wrong. Furthermore, it invites the “me vs. everybody else” comparison which I said at the beginning of this paragraph should not be thought about if you want to find true happiness. Society today is rife with too much divisiveness as it is. Why add neurotypical vs. Aspie to the mix? And what is “normal” supposed to mean anyway? There is no clear definition for that word. Instead, embrace who you are, celebrate what makes you special and recognize that everybody everywhere is human despite the differences that exist among us.
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So how did I manage to open my eyes, see the flaws in my attitudes about other people and in my expectations of them, make the changes I needed to make, and become happier? I did so by living my life, learning lessons as I went along, and getting help from family, close friends and clinicians. I discovered that I was better able to improve myself by making gradual progress in many small steps over a long period of time and by learning lessons the hard way, often more than once. Over time, all of these small steps and lessons learned resulted in me acquiring greater awareness of myself and others which in turn enabled me to improve upon many of the aspects of my Aspie profile that I wanted to address, among these, social skills deficits, difficulties making friends, self-absorption, and unrealistic expectations of others. For me, awareness always came first, followed by change for the better. I slowly became stronger, wiser and happier.
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I would not be as happy as I am today had it not dawned on me how critically important it is to be surrounded by good, intelligent people. This type of person can lift you up and help you move forward while the opposite type of person can bring you down and get in the way of your goals if you allow him or her to do so. I have been fortunate enough to have had friends and loved ones who knew me well enough to see the good in me. I have had colleagues in the workplace and teachers who encouraged me to pursue excellence while setting high but realistic standards for me to live up to, and I have benefitted from the wisdom and guidance of many clinicians who helped me develop better social skills and a level of social awareness that eluded me before I started working with them. Not always was I able to avoid undesirable people, as was sometimes the case at school, at summer camp and at the workplace wherein you do not always get to choose who you associate with. In these situations, I simply learned to put up with these people, fight my way through, and not let them get under my skin, mostly by seeing them for who they were.