Hello.

Hi, table for two please.

Sure, and your name.

Jessie.

Great and do you and your guest have your vaccine cards?

We do. Can you tell me who our server will be?

Um, looks like Brad will be your server tonight.

Great, can you show me Brads vaccine card?

Um.

And also, you you provide me proof that Brad is not a carrier of HIV, Hepatitis A or B, or any other communicable diseases?

Um.

Also, we would prefer not to be served by someone who is on or uses recreational drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, meth, fentanyl, etc., so if you could provide Brads most recent tox screen that would be great.

Um.

Let me get the manager for you.

That would be great, thanks.

>>14284210

Unfortunately, obese people are a major drain on our healthcare system. The government should mandate all persons more than 1% above the CDC recommended weight for height and age be placed on a government weight loss program. These individuals will be required to carry an "I'm Fat" card and must be presented to grocery stores in order to purchase the 12 government approved foods until they reach the recommended weight.

>>14284292

He must be counting the population of Obama's other 7 states.

>>14284343

Updated version:

Hello.

Hi, table for two please.

Sure, and your name.

Jessie.

Great and do you and your guest have your vaccine cards?

We do. Can you tell me who our server will be?

Um, looks like Brad will be your server tonight.

Great, for our safety, can you show me Brads vaccine card?

Um.

And we would like to see Brads negative Covid test dated today please.

Well we are proud to say our entire staff is vaccinated so we aren't required to test.

I understand, however, the CDC has clearly indicated even vaccinated persons can still get and transmit Covid so for our safety, can you test Brad on site, right now?

Um.

Also, for our safety, can you provide me proof that Brad is not a carrier of HIV, Hepatitis A or B, or any other communicable diseases?

Um.

Also, we would prefer not to be served by someone who may be intoxicated or uses recreational drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, meth, fentanyl, etc., so if you could provide Brads most recent drug tox screen that would be great and of course make us feel much safer.

Um.

Also, and this is a bit off topic, but we do not tip for service prior to receiving service, can you tell me if your restaurant automatically includes a 15% gratuity or any other service fee's to our bill?

Let me get the manager for you.

That would be great, thanks.