Feed the Right Wolf
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/child-development-central/201507/feed-the-right-wolf
Posted July 13, 2015
A boy and his grandfather are hanging out. The boy says to his grandfather, How is it you never seem to get upset? Don't you ever feel angry?
His grandfather replies, I sometimes feel there are two wolves inside me, each of whom fights to tell me what to do. Whenever something angers me, one of the wolves is full of fire, and wants to attack and act nasty. The other is calmer, thinks clearly, and makes better choices. But they're both always there.
And the boy asks, But if they are always fighting, how do you know which wolf is going to win?
The grandfather answers, The wolf who wins is the one I choose to feed.
Feeding Our Personal Wolves
Human nature hasn’t changed much since this Native American fable was created long ago. We all have impulses and habits, some for the better and some for the worse - our inner wolves. What has changed is that in this modern information era we are uniquely barraged with information and imagery, much of it disturbing and upsetting, that over and over again feeds a particularly angry wolf.
Fifteen minutes in the barber chair today, and the television news shows me a shooting and tornados and an accident at a local nuclear plant. I want to take action and make a statement when there is something to be done, and I hope others watching do the same - in many ways our world depends on it. But it's an awful lot to take in all at once.
After a perfectly normal day, with all its ups and downs, what fills your mind at night when you try to fall asleep? Our brains are hardwired to notice potential hazards, a vital bias when in actual danger. The flip side is that when we’re not under acute threat, upsetting things often grab our attention more than positive. Our mind craves relaxation and happiness (or sleep), but lighter moments often pass without holding our attention.
The news media seemingly thrives on this all too human tendency. It appears intent not only on informing but on riveting our attention in place, presumably to increase ratings or revenue. Graphic headlines and shocking stories fill our daily experience. Yet this isn’t entirely the media’s fault, since we’re the ones choosing to watch that coverage in the first place. Who hasn’t compulsively watched repetitive, grueling coverage of a tragedy?
So what can be done? For starters, we can decide to feed the healthier wolf in ourselves more often. For me, in part that means reading the Sports and Arts sections first most mornings, because later I’ll listen to National Public Radio in the car, and at the office read news on the Internet. There’s an expansive middle ground to explore between ‘well informed’ and ‘force feeding an angry wolf until it consumes everything around it.’
Another way of finding this less-charged space is through the practice of mindfulness. When we attend to feeding a healthier wolf for at least a period of time daily, we loosen the grip of negativity for a few minutes. Also to consider is the fact that doing altruistic things may improve our own state of mind. Some people sustain a daily gratitude or compassion practice as a reminder to focus on positive experiences in life, and in the world around us. For our ongoing inner wrestling matches, setting aside these moments builds an advantage for the clear-sighted wolves in our lives.