>how do you tell when a man is realistically interested in a woman verses when ya'll are just bein' friendly ?
Modern culture makes it nigh impossible to flirt.
What do you mean "realistically"? Like marriage? Or a quickie?
Every guy is different. Some will be interested even if they're wearing a ring. Some will be too shy. Some will just look for the notch in the belt.
You've got to figure out which you want, and because of lawsuits, threats of harassment, #metoo, etc., women are going to have to be more forthcoming about what they want and what the limits are.
It has definitely coarsened romanticism, but hey, the feminists fucked it all up for you.