Sexual abuse in marriage is no joke.
And yes, he's a narcissist. I begged him for years for us to get counseling to no avail. He can't admit no wrong. I was married to him for 36 years. No one can tell me i didn't try to make the marriage work. All I did by staying was torture myself. Shoulda left him years ago.
Treat/ love your wife as Christ loved the church.