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Haines was born in New York City on August 27, 1969,[2] to Adrian Rappin (née Adrienne Rappaport) and Thomas H. Haines. She grew up on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.[3] The story of her early life appears in her father's autobiography with Mindy Lewis, A Curious Life: From Rebel Orphan to Innovative Scientist.[4][5] Her mother was a painter. Haines is Jewish.[6][7] When Haines was 10, her mother developed chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and contracted avian tuberculosis; Haines and her father nursed Adrian in a home ICU until her death when Haines was 15 years old.[4][5] Her father Thomas H. Haines is a biochemist who graduated with a PhD from Rutgers University and helped in the formation of the CUNY School of Medicine, where he served as the chair of the biochemistry department.[8]
After graduating from Hunter College High School, Haines traveled to Japan for a year and enrolled at the Kodokan, an elite judo institute in Tokyo.[5] In 1988, Haines enrolled in the University of Chicago where she studied theoretical physics. While attending the University of Chicago, Haines worked repairing car engines at a mechanic shop in Hyde Park.[5] In 1991 Haines took up flying lessons in New Jersey, where she met her future husband, David Davighi. She later graduated with her Bachelor of Arts in physics in 1992.[9]
In 1992, Haines moved to Baltimore, and enrolled as a doctoral student at Johns Hopkins University. However, later that year, Haines dropped out and with her future husband purchased a bar in Fell's Point, Baltimore, which had been seized in a drug raid;[5] they turned the location into an independent bookstore and café.[10] She named the store Adrian's Book Cafe, after her late mother; Adrian's realistic oil paintings filled the store.[10] The bookstore won City Paper's "Best Independent Bookstore" in 1997 and was known for having an unusual collection of literary offerings, local writers, and small press publications.[11] Adrian's hosted a number of literary readings, including erotica readings, which became a media focus when she was appointed by President Barack Obama to be the Deputy Director of the CIA.[12][13] She served as the president of the Fell's Point Business Association until 1998.[14]
In 1998, she enrolled at the Georgetown University Law Center, receiving her Juris Doctor in 2001.[15]