I'm deeply pained and really sorry to say this, but I think black has this game. I don't think you can stop it, even if it is white's turn. You have to put them in check and keep them there and checkmate them there. 1 move to black and you are done in one move. I don't think the brains to win it, exist in this room.
Really now? You're the first one I've heard wanting out. It's always someone wanting in.