jewELRY TO BIND THEM WHERE TEH SHADOWS LIE
FEAR NOT TEH GEHYEST SHOTGUN WEDDING EVER
LOVE TEH NEW JEW PORKALPSE SCAMDEMIC WHEELCHAIR HONEYMOON
HOBO BOOTY LICKIN JEW WHINE OF THE CENTURY
MAD DOG BOY JOSHUA 2020
HUBBARD STILL DRUNK
AND IN THE CLOSET
CALL SPONSOR
>HUBBARD STILL DRUNK
>AND IN THE CLOSET
>CALL SPONSOR
>>HOBO BOOTY LICKIN JEW WHINE OF THE CENTURY
>>MAD DOG BOY JOSHUA 2020
>>HOBO BOOTY LICKIN JEW WHINE OF THE CENTURY
>>MAD DOG BOY JOSHUA 2020
>HOBO BOOTY LICKIN JEW WHINE OF THE CENTURY
FOUR FRICKIN NOVELS
>MAD DOG BOY JOSHUA 2020
AND THEN
SHILLDAWG NEEDS TO /B/ SENT TO JOOSER
SILLY HAT CONTEST STILL IN EFFECT
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vWxmj66ph8
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfHJL5_5xXk
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqcrlA0khM0
FUCK
TITTIES
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-4xyg4PU-U
HEY MISTER TALIBAN BANANA
t h e s h a d o w o f t h e p a s t 69
from Sauronโs hand and took it for his own. Then Sauron
was vanquished and his spirit fled and was hidden for long
years, until his shadow took shape again in Mirkwood.
โBut the Ring was lost. It fell into the Great River, Anduin,
and vanished. For Isildur was marching north along the east
banks of the River, and near the Gladden Fields he was
waylaid by the Orcs of the Mountains, and almost all his folk
were slain. He leaped into the waters, but the Ring slipped
from his finger as he swam, and then the Orcs saw him and
killed him with arrows.โ
Gandalf paused. โAnd there in the dark pools amid the
Gladden Fields,โ he said, โthe Ring passed out of knowledge
and legend; and even so much of its history is known now
only to a few, and the Council of the Wise could discover no
more. But at last I can carry on the story, I think.
โLong after, but still very long ago, there lived by the banks
of the Great River on the edge of Wilderland a clever-handed
and quiet-footed little people. I guess they were of hobbit-
kind; akin to the fathers of the fathers of the Stoors, for they
loved the River, and often swam in it, or made little boats of
reeds. There was among them a family of high repute, for it
was large and wealthier than most, and it was ruled by a
grandmother of the folk, stern and wise in old lore, such as
they had. The most inquisitive and curious-minded of that
family was called Sme agol. He was interested in roots and
beginnings; he dived into deep pools; he burrowed under
trees and growing plants; he tunnelled into green mounds;
and he ceased to look up at the hill-tops, or the leaves on
trees, or the flowers opening in the air: his head and his eyes
were downward.
โHe had a friend called De agol, of similar sort, sharper-
eyed but not so quick and strong. On a time they took a boat
and went down to the Gladden Fields, where there were great
beds of iris and flowering reeds. There Sme agol got out and
went nosing about the banks but De agol sat in the boat and
fished. Suddenly a great fish took his hook, and before he
70 t h e f e l l o w s h i p o f t h e r i n g
knew where he was, he was dragged out and down into the
water, to the bottom. Then he let go of his line, for he thought
he saw something shining in the river-bed; and holding his
breath he grabbed at it.
โThen up he came spluttering, with weeds in his hair and
a handful of mud; and he swam to the bank. And behold!
when he washed the mud away, there in his hand lay a beauti-
ful golden ring; and it shone and glittered in the sun, so that
his heart was glad. But Sme agol had been watching him from
behind a tree, and as De agol gloated over the ring, Sme agol
came softly up behind.
โ โโGive us that, De agol, my love,โโ said Sme agol, over his
friendโs shoulder.
โ โโWhy?โโ said De agol.
โ โโBecause itโs my birthday, my love, and I wants it,โโ said
Sme agol.
โ โโI donโt care,โโ said De agol. โโI have given you a present
already, more than I could afford. I found this, and Iโm going
to keep it.โโ
โ โโOh, are you indeed, my love,โโ said Sme agol; and he
caught De agol by the throat and strangled him, because the
gold looked so bright and beautiful. Then he put the ring on
his finger.
โNo one ever found out what had become of De agol; he
was murdered far from home, and his body was cunningly
hidden. But Sme agol returned alone; and he found that none
of his family could see him, when he was wearing the ring.
He was very pleased with his discovery and he concealed it;
and he used it to find out secrets, and he put his knowledge
to crooked and malicious uses. He became sharp-eyed and
keen-eared for all that was hurtful. The ring had given him
power according to his stature. It is not to be wondered at
that he became very unpopular and was shunned (when vis-
ible) by all his relations. They kicked him, and he bit their
feet. He took to thieving, and going about muttering to him-
self, and gurgling in his throat. So they called him Gollum,
and cursed him, and told him to go far away; and his grand-
TEN MORE DAYS TILL QUEER JEW SUPERSTITOUS NUMBER HOLIDAY CRAP HUH