What a day.

I go to this Christmas parade today and some "marching band" is coming down the street and every single one of them is wearing matching outfits. I'm like, "ok glowies, who even gave you those instruments?"

Play your Fed trumpet somewhere else my dude.

Then I go to my niece's youth basketball game but each team has outfits that match their teammates and I'm like, "What is this, FBI vs CIA?"

Miss me with your Fed-ball, k?

Next I hit this restaurant for lunch - I go in - and LITERALLY every staff member is wearing matching outfits. How is that even possible? You can't coordinate that.

Sorry Special Agent Bringsmefood, I'm not THAT hungry.

So I go to the supermarket instead and what do I see?? Not even joking all of the employees have M-A-T-C-H-I-N-G fking outfits on. M-A-T-C-H-I-N-G. Like "oh hey haha yeah we just all happened to wear the same thing today but we're totally not a psyop."

Umm yeah cleanup on aisle FED!!!

I get back in my car, look in the mirror, & some in-shape dude is staring at me. I go "Can I help you glowworm?" & he mimics me like he's mad I know he's a Fed cuz he's not obese.

So I punched him in the face & sped off & now I'm hiding from the Feds.

And someone broke my mirror.