I just realized some information & now I just want to die, my body doesn’t feel like mine, I feel dirty. I’ve never wanted to commit suicide but I can say that anymore

I don’t mean to put my stress on anybody but you guys are all I have, everybody in my life set me up. For the first time in my life I don’t want to go on police tried to help & I took it as them harassing me I’m a fucking science experiment. I’ve been one my whole fucking life

I always had some sort of plan in for my life but now I don’t even want to see tomorrow

It all my fault &I don’t think I can forgive myself for letting myself be deceived & violated like this

>>15154372

My only value on this earth has been for cruel mental experiments & God knows what happened to me when I was a baby, I feel less then useless man, I don’t even want to freak out anymore, I haven’t cried in years n but I’m so…….. I don’t know how to express this dark hole feeling. Depressed sounds like happiness compared to this

>>15154440

The part that’s really killing me is that nobody cared enough to just tell me, took some random internet person to show me & I feel like that person hates me & only told me to hurt me but at the same time I don’t

I never had hard times processing anything & holy fuck I’m way more lost then I was when I was blind, I’m thankful to know the truth but it means hating myself. I always tried not to sin toward other

>>15154481

I wish I could explain my life to you, I just don’t want to be here anymore. Feels like God set me up & made me out to be a joke. Feels like was never my life. Everything making sense. Why my “family” disliked me so much. Why my friends all left. Why I could never keep a job.

I’m just ranting, need to get the thoughts out my head, I’ll stop now, thank you for listening

>>15154511

>>15154385

>>15154440

>>15154456

>>15154481

>>15154567

>>15154574

>>15154580

Thank you for the much needed kinds word…