Take care, anon.
I hope you got the answers that you were waiting for.
I meditated for a short time tonight, because I felt a great anxiousness. Like dread, but without the fear. Unsettled without being disgusted.
I emerged in the jungle again, at the very moment when I first spotted the little girl with the strange, green eyes: she was holding her mother's hand and they were standing there, preparing for the evil priests to call "Citlalic" up to the sacrificial altar. That moment that I first saw her, she had seen me as well. She had looked at me.
I had thought nothing of it until my experience with "Chipinaw", but now I realized that she had noticed me because her and I were the same soul. The little girl was another incarnation.
When they called her forward, assured that she did not understand that she was walking to her terrible death, I grabbed her hand and the scene stopped.
We stood there for a moment and I told her that she did not have to do this; that this scene didn't need to play out. I asked her what I could have possibly learned from this life and this moment and her answer was this:
"I learned that there is no compromising with evil."
I asked her what she meant and she explained that compromising with evil sets precedence: that one sacrifice to abate evil instead of destroying it simply give credence that there will be some times that one needs to submit to evil in the name of good. That is never the case.
I thanked her and offered her a way out, I suppose. Knowing that she is a past me, and having found her again reliving this terrible memory, I offered her a place in the 'here and now'; to become a part of the total 'myself'.
She accepted the offer. As I accepted her presence, I was flooded with pleasant images: of making clothing, of trying to catch fish in the river with my hands, of running through the 'streets' laughing. Of holding a 'doll' that my mother mended for me.
Even now, I can feel her presence. It is like I am a little marveled at everything that I'm seeing once more. I felt/heard her/me interested in the headphones that I wear while meditating. I felt her/me reach up and touch one of the cans, though my physical body did not move, I don't think. My eyes were closed.
She also told me that she knew very well what was going to happen to her, but she chose to allow it to happen, because she was hopeful that, perhaps, she'd be able to deal with the negativity between incarnations better than the others around her. She says that she knew very well what she was back, then, and so did most everyone.
Green eyes among her people were a sign, albeit a rare one.