Tyb
Gateway Pundit spelling matters
>But Dominions won’t let ANYONE expect their machines or systems
inspect*
>: “Dominion never had a case in the first place. They filed to direct the attention at the defendants calling them conspiracy theorist. Now they’re in a real Court case and Discovery is looming. Now they’re looking to settle by saying they can’t settle.”
Dominion is shitting corruption out of their collective machines
You are evil.
Had to look up Neil Young
Thanks, needed this meme
interdastin
Get more booster shots, that will help.
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OH SHIT
/hivemind/
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notable
Interviewed by the Great Lou Dobbs on his new podcast
Statements by Donald J. Trump, Interviews
“I was interviewed by the Great Lou Dobbs on his new podcast The Great America Show. Listen here.
Enjoy!”
By Donald J. Trump
Full Audio, interview
Dan Scavino
@DanScavino
·
21h
https://mobile.twitter.com/DanScavino/status/1486172067942785028
Biden Puts 8,000 Troops On Alert In Case Peter Doocy Retaliates
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Pentagon officials have confirmed that Biden placed 8,000 troops on high alert to protect the White House in case Fox News reporter Peter Doocy retaliates for Biden insulting him in a press conference yesterday.
"Listen, man, I want those troops armed and ready to go! I've awoken a sleeping giant here!" yelled Biden to General Milley, who was at the salon getting his nails done. "That Doocy guy is no joke! He could be plotting his revenge right now! I called him a 'stupid sonofab**ch' and I've droned people for lesser insults! Get those troops ready NOW! And bring me some ice cream! I haven't had any in over 30 minutes!"
Milley quickly made a phone call to get his troops mobilized. He then made another call to give Peter Doocy a heads up.
"I'm not planning any retaliation, that Biden guy is crazy!" said Doocy in a statement. "Or… am I?" Doocy's lips then curled upward in an evil right-wing smile.
The State Department informed Ukraine their military protection may have to wait until the Doocy threat has passed.
https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-puts-8000-troops-on-alert-in-case-peter-doocy-retaliates
Sauce, I fucking hate my computer
https://thedeskofdonaldtrump.com/interviewed-by-the-great-lou-dobbs-on-his-new-podcast/
Exclusive: The Babylon Bee Has Obtained Biden's List Of Possible SCOTUS Nominees
Ever since Justice Stephen Bryer announced his retirement from the Supreme Court, the President has been feverishly sifting through binders full of black women in search of the next great SCOTUS nominee.
The Babylon Bee has received an exclusive look at Biden's list of potential SCOTUS nominees. Surprisingly, they're not all black women.
DISCLAIMER: The following list of names and comments are taken verbatim from Biden's list and do not reflect the views of The Babylon Bee.
Queen Latifa: She's black, female, and sassy! That's a win-win-win scenario.
Michelle Obama: Barack will kill me if I don't nominate her.
Rachel Dolezal: A woman who is also black.
Whoopie Goldberg: She was a nun. That'll help me look Catholic! Actually– maybe we can just replace the whole court with The View. Gotta' ask Jill.
Aunt Jemima: I can't believe they fired that poor woman. The Pearl Mining Company just wants to keep her in chains!
Mrs. Butterworth: She's probably black. I can't tell.
Peter Dinklage: He could use a boost.
Xi Jinping: We already have a good working relationship.
Greta Thunberg: Our court would be well served by this infallible child of light. She's black, right?
Hunter Biden: He should fit right in. This may be the easiest nominee to push through. Gotta' tell Jill.
Donald Trump: The only way to keep him from running for President.
Vladimir Putin: The only way to keep him from invading Ukraine.
Kamala Harris: The only way to keep her from killing me. Plus, she's black! (Editor's Note: The word 'black' was circled three times)
Noticeably absent from the list is former Obama appointee, Merrick Garland. Sources confirm he doesn't tick any intersectional boxes which makes him a major liability.
https://babylonbee.com/news/exclusive-the-babylon-bee-has-obtained-bidens-list-of-possible-scotus-nominees
Biden Administration Mounts Daring Mission To Evacuate Hunter’s Remaining Cash From Ukraine
UKRAINE—As Russian troops assemble at Ukraine's border ahead of a possible land invasion, President Biden has taken swift action by deploying an elite seal team to evacuate his son Hunter's money.
"At my direction, military operatives infiltrated a bank to evacuate my son's stash of sweet, sweet Burisma cash before Russia murdered everyone. I didn't want to risk that money falling into the wrong hands," said Biden in a statement to congress. "Unfortunately, we haven't been able to evacuate Americans from the country because I put all our resources on this operation. But make no mistake, we will leave no dollar behind."
The four-man squad was dropped into ally territory by a Black Hawk helicopter outfitted for stealth missions. Once on the ground, they covertly asked for directions to the nearest bank and shared an Uber to make the 4-mile journey.
Bank security footage depicts the squad calmly entering the bank and asking for the manager. The squad then assembled in a tiny cubicle to discuss closing the account. In the end, the soldiers strategically left the building with a giant cargo net filled with millions of U.S. dollars.
General Mark Milley called the operation an "unprecedented success" and noted that the "bazillions of dollars" were safely back in the U.S. where they could be used to boost the failing narcotics economy.
At publishing time, Biden's approval rating has dropped another five points.
https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-evacuates-hunters-money-from-ukraine-before-russia-invades
McConnell Says Senate Should Not Confirm New Supreme Court Nominee Just Three Years Before Presidential Election
WASHINGTON, D.C.—With the announcement of Associate Justice Stephen Breyer’s pending retirement dominating the current news cycle, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has put forth the following statement: “The American people should have a voice in the selection of their next Supreme Court Justice. Therefore, this vacancy should not be filled until we have a new president.”
When it was pointed out to Senator McConnell that these were the exact same words he used in 2016 on the day of Antonnin Scalia’s death, McConnell explained, “Yes, and the same principle still applies. We should not have a lame-duck president who is clearly on his way out making such an important decision for the nation.”
Reporters further pressed McConnell, pointing out that the situation is quite different now, as Biden still has three years left in his term, and he is not a lame duck. McConnell shot back, “Are you sure about that? He sure seems like a lame duck to me.”
When asked about the inconsistency of the standards he is applying and the apparent hypocrisy given that Amy Coney Barrett was confirmed just a week before Election Day, McConnell just chuckled slyly and said, “I know. How cool was that?” before snorting a giant line of cocaine.
https://babylonbee.com/news/mcconnell-says-senate-should-not-confirm-new-supreme-court-nominee-just-three-years-before-presidential-election
V:V
Jesus!
Dinklage Tries To Cancel 'Snow White' But Comes Up Short
HOLLYWOOD, CA—Beloved Hollywood starlet Peter Dinklage pushed back against Disney’s live-action remake of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, but his efforts seem to have come up short.
“I feel cut off at the legs,” said the Game of Thrones star after hearing Disney’s low decision to keep dwarves in a movie about dwarves. “I expected at least a teeny-weeny concession from Disney; I feel overlooked.”
“Our attempts at inclusion were far from minuscule,” said Disney Chief Inclusion Officer, Lilly Putte. “We consulted with underrepresented communities through every teensy, minute detail, no matter how tiny. To hear Mr. Dinklage get on his soapbox and accuse us of a pint-sized effort, well it feels a wee bit stunted.”
Dinklage, who achieved stardom with a diminutive role in the movie “Elf,” as a man mistaken for an elf, admitted he feels in over his head a little when overshadowed by greedy movie executives.
His experience may be proof that universal inclusion in Hollywood may be—for now at least—too high a bar to reach.
This article has been condensed for shorter reading.
https://babylonbee.com/news/dinklage-tries-to-cancel-snow-white-but-comes-up-short
Mayor of DC Kevin Ward, Found Dead of Apparent Suicide
WASHINGTON – The Mayor of Hyattsville, Maryland, Kevin Ward died Tuesday in an apparent suicide, officials said. He was 44-years-old.
Ward’s body was reportedly found in a park in McLean, Virginia.
“It is with great sadness that we report that our beloved Hyattsville Mayor Kevin Ward passed away yesterday, January 25, from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound,” the city announced in a statement. “Mayor Ward was a valued and trusted leader and a fierce advocate for all the people of Hyattsville. We are heartbroken at this loss and extend our deepest sympathy to his family.”
“We ask that you please respect the privacy of Mayor Ward’s family during this time,” the announcement continued.
Ward is survived by his husband and two adopted sons, WJLA reported.
The First Lady and I are saddened to learn of the passing of Hyattsville Mayor Kevin Ward.
We extend our most heartfelt condolences to the Ward family and the people of Hyattsville as they grieve this tragic loss.
— Governor Larry Hogan (@GovLarryHogan) January 26, 2022
https://breaking911.com/breaking-mayor-of-dc-suburb-found-dead-of-apparent-suicide/