Anonymous ID: 37262a Feb. 22, 2022, 7:47 p.m. No.15696697   🗄️.is đź”—kun

>>15696470

>EYOTS

https://nypost.com/1999/07/16/a-day-in-the-life-of-a-carpetbagger/

 

HILLARY CLINTON’S to-do list for Thursday, July 15, 1999:

 

*10 a.m. Oh, no! Another tedious game of Empire State Jeopardy with Ickes. … Must win this time.

 

Learn from past mistakes: The official animal of New York is the American beaver, not the tenement cockroach. The state bird is the blue bird, not the Adirondack black fly.

 

The insect is the lady bug, not the First Lady pest. The state fruit is the apple, not Tinky Winky.

 

The New York state motto is “Excelsior.” That means, “Always upward,” and has absolutely nothing to do with taxes, Rudy’s poll numbers, or that miserable husband of mine …

 

Ed Koch is alive. Ditto Lindsay. Ditto Beame. Eighty-six on Eleanor R. Do not screw up this time!

 

*Noon. Hair, makeup and Manhattan black-wardrobe initiation. If necessary, may train with tan and ecru, gradually building up my immunity to primary colors.

 

*1 p.m. Smile maintenance. Donna H. recommends: Sit in warm bath visualizing Rudy G. sticking finger in light socket in Washington Heights – that’s north of Saks, far west of the Golan Heights, in case anyone should ask – at the exact moment Con Ed restarts power. Ouch!

 

*2 p.m. Start dressing for dinner with those annoying Baraks. Ugh! At least Bibi spoke good English, not to mention he had as frisky a rep with the ladies as my Billy. In Israel, they loved him for that – and hated him for confessing! Life is sooo unfair.

 

But this guy Barak (Memo to self: Study proper pronunciation of Ehud) is some kind of square. So what if he’s a war hero? Bill had to live with me.

 

*3 p.m. Switch off brain, and switch into First Lady mode. Write in notebook 5,000 times: I must listen and learn, learn and listen, listen and lecture, lecture and pester … Dress British, think Yiddish. Givult.

 

Golda Meir, help me – Please!!

 

In the evening, time for the dinner between the Clintons and the Baraks arrives. Mrs. Clinton is the picture of an adoring wife and devoted First Lady. Let’s listen in:

 

Hillary: Shalom Prime Minister, Mrs. Barak. I just want you to know that I’m not here as a Senate candidate. I’m here to listen and, umm, learn, yes, learn about all your concerns as Israelis and members of the Jewish faith, which is, ummm, one of my favorite religions, ummm, of course, I also have a lot of respect for the Muslim people, uhh, who have a long and rich history as well.

 

But, of course, they treat women miserably and what’s with the veils? The Palestinians don’t at all deserve their own state. Who could ever have said such a silly thing!

 

Ehud Barak: Well, Mrs. Clinton, actually I have given serious thought to the concept of Palestinian self-determination. …

 

Hillary: Oh, yes, of course. Amen!

 

But forget about giving them a piece of Jerusalem. My goodness, that would be like chopping up Albany! We can’t have that, no matter what Bubba says. Jerusalem is yours! We’re moving the embassy. I’m taking my vacation there.

 

The dinner ends when Hillary’s head explodes.

 

Hillary’s to-do list, July 16:

 

*Research residency requirements for serving in Israeli Knesset.