Thank you, Baker!
If you kill yourself, there's a decent chance you have to start over and do all this shit again. Best to figure it out now while you are a person who has the sense and feeling to figure it out. And if you just wait, things ALWAYS get better. Life is full of ups and downs, so hold on.
Besides, we desperately need you. Spend a bit of time every day praying, and you will help us all. Hug.