Weaned myself off of cell phones, anons. Here is how it went down.
Firstly, I decided two years ago that the only path moving forward for cell phone usage that I coud tolerate was Blackberry. OS10 is old, with very little support, meaning there were very few things I could actually use the phone for. Phone, text, and calculator are about the only things I actually use it for now. Work contacts got used to reaching me by email or skype. I found I didn't even need to carry the phone at all for the most part, except as a wife-contact device. It sits in a charger on my desk, and a red light blinks when there is an incoming email or text. Handy for calculations or an emergency 4g connection for the laptop (yes we still have working BB functionality on 4g where I live.)
End result: Don't really need a fucking phone at all. Enjoy not having that little brick in the pocket of my shorts irradiating the old testes.