5 years of this bullshit and still nothing of any worth or value has happened to me yet.
The worst part of this stupid, worthless existence is that I'm supposed to continue waiting for anything good to finally happen when even me waiting is scripted and there's no way to even fast-forward to the good part.
I'm not the one that failed. Everything and everyone else failed me by making me wait longer than I need to wait to be happy.
Shut up, worthless NPC. There is no afterlife and there is no science. Everything is scripted and everything is fake. Enjoy your scripted life while you're at it. Space is probably fake also. Climate change is fake. Everything only exists/matters as long as "player one" (me) is alive, and even then, it's still all worthless and bullshit.
Good. America was a shitty country to begin with, it continues to be a shitty country, and I can conclusively say that it will continue to be a shitty country forevermore!
No, I don't want kids. I never wanted kids either. Why be even more miserable when it's clear a child won't help me be happy. The same goes for having a pet: it won't make me happy. I know what will make me happy, and yet I'm still expected to wait and be miserable and disappointed and under constant stress and misery for no reason at all.
"Your mom" jokes aren't funny. Nothing you find funny is funny.
I'm way less narcissistic than I'd like to be, retard. You should learn some humility, NPC.
Yeah, none of the cures exist. Your whole life is scripted. There is no afterlife. God doesn't exist. Space is a worthless, fruitless endeavor. Elon Musk and Grimes and all the other NPCs (you included) are part of some weird joke where you all mirror some weird alternate reality of my life that is more like a cautionary tale or example of what I don't want my life to be.
No, in fact, all of you are real bummers in my life. You're all mistakes/obstacles to my happiness. Unfortunately, you all are still alive.
Kill yourself, NPC. The meds don't work because I'm literally playing a video game where all of the news is fake and all sorts of weird stuff happens because it's a fake, bullshit reality.
Oh no, I will be happy once I'm finally living with Henry Cavill and Sam Heughan! Why else do you think all of this Disney stuff is happening in the news?