dChan - Q Origins Project Archive

>>16103913 Ed Latimore: 11 things I learned from growing up in the hood, surrounded daily by crackheads, gangbangers, poverty, and death (pb)

I had a strange upbringing… Parents didn't divorce until I was older. Super poor when I was little, but Dad came up. Briefly, anyway. Around 14 went from being called trashy, to "rich-kid". (They didn't even know how "trashy" we were just a few years before that.) 14-18, life was good… Amazing actually. But, I was young and dumb. A fight and some legal incompetence, landed me a short prison term, at 19. (Like 12 kids involved, I was the only one who did time… Ironically, the only one who tried to stop the fight from occuring). I can blend into ANY crowd. Well, not really "blend" (I don't like being average even when I'm trying to lay low), but "hang" with any crowd. I can be incredibly genuine when I slip into a role I need to play. I have close friends who are incredibly good people and others who are complete scum-bags. I have experienced many "extremes" in life, I'd say. Always thought of myself as a good person. A sinning Christian, with a mustard seed of faith, that struggles to sprout. And, someone whose duty it was to help the down-trodden. I have defended many from bullies. Fought countless men for the sake of others. I struggle to find others like me. I have thousands of friends, but not one friend, if that makes sense. It's strange, because I am an incredibly loyal friend, who even has a reputation for defending his friends. Yet, I feel the "movie-like" intensity of my life, makes others uncomfortable. I don't have small problems in my life, but incredibly large ones. I have never been afraid to challenge those taking advantage of others, regardless of their power, money or status. This doesn't always work out the best for me, of course. And maybe it's just ego, but I feel any punishments I incur from speaking out, are worth it and kind of a personal badge of honor.

Latimer's story kinda got me in the feels… I know what it's like to struggle, yet I also know what it's like to be secure.

Sometimes, I wish I had never tasted the good-life… It just made the return to poverty that much more painful, honestly.

Now, I BADLY just want to be middle-class… I hate poverty. And I hate how the wealthy often treat the impoverished. I just want my children and I to be left alone.

When I was a young, poor, kid… I was happy. I knew no better. I loved people and saw most as kind. The older I get, the less I trust/like others. And for good reason. Human-beings are wretched things. The more I associate with them, the more I dislike them and the parts of myself I see in them. I test out very high, like top 1-2%, all my life, on IQ tests and otherwise. I'm smart AF. However, I'm also dumb as fuck, also. And If I can be so fucking stupid, at times, what does that say about the rest of the 98-99%? No one intelligent, is intelligent ALL the time. Just as no one stupid, makes stupid decisions ALL the time. But, in general, most people are fucking clueless, hopeless and fucked. I feel I was given MANY advantages in life, yet still find life to be an incredible financial, emotional and physical struggle.

I remember reading that if you make over $32,000 per year, you are in the 1% of wealth in the world… Think about that. I make that easy… And, I'm bitching about it.

I have two beautiful children… Have been with countless beautiful women… Yet, have no wife. Cannot see my children. And, my children are being abused by their mothers. And as honest as I am, few souls believe me.

Hell is relative.