>>.suicide is never the answer
>why?
Because if you ever reach the point where you are even remotely contemplating that, then you are also at a point where changes to your life that seemed "impossible" in the past now seem possible.
>until I became aware of all the shortcomings I have/had
Becoming aware of your shortcomings might be a good thing in principle, no?
Better to craft ways to remedy them or work around them or both?