i would also like to expand on how to go from 'spiritually retarded' to spiritually aware… by sharing my own story i remember.
My mom is a southern baptist and raised me with God forefront in my life.
we talked about him daily on the way to school.
one morning, I asked about faith, the inevitable "how do we believe in God without proof? without miracles" ( I was 6-7 yrs old )
and she said this:
>the air, baby
>you can't see it but you still breathe
>you know you need to breathe or you'll suffocate
<faith is literally believing in something without having proof or evidence or visual confirmation of its existence.
Once you are able to fully digest and hold this belief as a truth - something no one can challenge - then you are granted the access to feeling and recognizing your higher self / gut feelings / intuiition / general feelings of guidance -the next step is realization that this is your SPIRIT talking to your conscious mind.
it REALLY is fucking beautiful.
fwiw - it took me 30 years to get this evolved with understanding the spiritual world/spiritual connection humans have [ some born with connected by default - others must master practice for years ] - feel fortunate, you have a resource to help accelerate your discoveries.
Educating yourself on some scientific concepts and thoughts on old geniuses may help you build faith as well.
You're entering an area and an era where you will have to 'suspend laws of reality' if you want results because what you know of reality does not contain all of the truths.