>>16605999 (pb)

I have eyes to see, ears to hear, and a brain to separate Truth from Bullshit, just how God intended.

You on the other hand, listen to a fuckhead named Paul who claims you shouldn't think for yourself.

Pretty sure I'm more in line with what God had in mind for us than you are, but then again…

You don't sound like someone who's actually read the Bible, where I've read the entirety of the Testaments, while correlating, tracing, and intently following everything.

Basically, I was more up for believing the narrative til I actually read the Bible.

The Bible is Christianity's worst enemy.

>>16606036

-yawn-

First off, as an American, I don't believe in Kings nor Kingdoms, nor the propaganda put out there to "justify" kings and kingdoms and the peasants who suffer under them.

Use your fucking head, regardless of the Bible telling you not to.

C'mon, man!

What're you doing here if you can't even question THAT much?

>>16606070

Sure, when the sun pops, but that's not for a long, long time, not at all what they meant.

>>16606072

Wildly different song, but not bad

>>16606123

Oh, well… if it's all just parable and not actually fucking real… how retarded do you have to be to base your entire life on it?

It's not real… so…

>>16606147

Pretty certain there were 4 beasts in Revelation…

Which 2 of them are you referring to specifically?

>>16606162

Right? Can't argue with "it's not real, it's meaningless and therefore can be twisted however I want because YAY APOLOGETICS!!!".

>>16606172

Stop being lazy.

>>16606178

Yes.

That is Maiam Bialik, whose only claim to fame is being Jewish. I have no idea what else she's done.

Also, "Stuck In The Middle With Q" is just about words with the letter Q in the middle.

>>16606186

"Stuck In The Middle With Q" is just about words with the letter Q in the middle.

>>16606185

You'd think it'd be better written if that were case…

>>16606202

Q has to be dead center in the word.

delin-q-uency for example.

>>16606216

Dooooooo you wanna play a game?

Hmmm…

>>16606214

OMFG I've had someone try to tell me that's why Paul magically had new revelations from Jesus.

"It had to be that way, because Satan knew everything Jesus knew, so the stuff he was telling Paul had to wait til after Jesus went away so that The Debbil wouldn't know!!!!"

So fucking stupid. -_-

>>16606231

Neat. I don't think I ever watched a full episode of that.

>>16606216

Final Question:

Less than 100 yards north of the J. Edgar Hoover Building is this notorious location…

FORD'S THEATRE!

>>16606181

I mock it based on what it actually says.

You believe some fucked up Apologetic version twists things in ways that make no sense, but fit what you want the Bible to say.

By your proposed logic… you can just claim anything is parable.

Try this one: The part where Ham fucked his own mom… I mean "saw his nakedness".

PARABLE, BITCHES!!!

Also, fuck Paul and his "mysteries" bullshit.

>>16606303

Leviticus 20:11: "And the man that lieth with his father's wife hath uncovered his father's nakedness".

You really haven't read the Bible, have you?

>>16606338

IT LITERALLY GIVES THE FUCKING DEFINITION IN THE DAMNED BOOK (collection, whatever) YOU'RE TRYING TO REFERENCE!

The holy hell is wrong with you???

>>16606355

It was generally offensive to look at someone's genitals back then. They were coving their drunken father.

Jesus spoke in parables, but he never claimed "the whole of the OT is parable!".

I'm arguing what the Bible SAYS.

You're arguing what you WANT the Bible to say.

And the other anon had it right.

You don't fucking know what a parable is and you've made the term meaningless with your arguments.

>>16606385

Oh… so it's all parable, and none of it literally happened, including and especially Jesus, who fulfilled nothing since parable doesn't real.

K.

>>16606399

The Parable of 47cff1? kek

>>16606403

I have interest in truth, which is why I don't claim everything's a fucking parable.

Have fun burning in hell for the sin of being a damned retard who tried to add words to the Bible. ;)

>>16606419

If you do, then it makes Jesus… entirely pointless.

No Hell, no need for Salvation.

(Just ignore that both concepts were introduced at the same time.)

>>16606428

Your Apologetics is failing.

You're lying about God.

You're misrepresenting the Bible.

And based on your claim that Eternal Punishment is BS, then you deny the sacrifice of Christ.

-slow clap-

>>16606439

I never believed I was under existential threat in the first place.

You're the dumbass who bought into it.

>>16606457

-sigh-

Fine. Let's modify that, though.

I followed the footsteps of Parable Jesus and saved/freed myself from the brainwashing and abuses brought on by the bullshit of religious and secular authorities.

If that's all you're getting at as you try to distance yourself from literally everything else you've said thus far, then fine. We can agree on that.

>>16606495

What kind of truth gets us out of taxes?

Wesley Snipes tried that… didn't end well.

>>16606504

Their Apologetics did fail.

They were lying about God (just like every other religion, so far).

They blatantly misrepresented the Bible.

And then the last part, you're right about.

I don't believe in Hell, as much as I want shitty people to go there, and thus I don't believe I need to be saved from a thing that doesn't real.

>>16606518

I love how they blurred her tits.

>>16606531

Musta been nippin' hard.

>>16606538

I've never understood how people can eat that.

You ever had it?

Fucking awful.

>>16606557

Dipshit!

You're claiming that "all these things" means THE ENTIRE BIBLE!

>>16606581

>Do you believe the planet was created before light? It's parable.

And with that line, you've just proven to everyone that you don't have a single fucking clue what a parable is.

Take a bow.

Yer done.

>>16606582

Is there a reason I'd be wanting to do that?

I've done it before and found the thing I was trying to find, but 99.99% of times I've been around muddy water… I haven't had reason to be there after it settled.

>>16606614

>I don't care how YOU want to define the word parable.

AGAIN!

I'm interested in the Truth.

You're interested in what you WANT things to say/mean.

Until you start using the word Parable correctly, I'm going to join suit and start making shit up also. Fair?

>>16606646

And now you're making assumptions!

Look at you go.

This whole conversation started because I was mocking how old the Earth is according to Bible Literalism.

Then you popped in twisting words and making shit up.

Up to speed, now?

>>16606700

You mean those "stallions" she so fond of?

>>16606702

Again with the assumptions. -_-

Most of the Tanakh, according Rabbis, isn't meant to be taken as historical accurate nor literally. They're important cultural stories. Think folk tales.

It has nothing to do with me wanting or not wanting something to be "parable"… you don't fucking know a parable is and you keep misusing the term! Do you mean "metaphor" or "allegory"? Because, explicitly, most of what you've described is not PARABLE.

Same things the Mormons mean when they say you're not praying correctly if you don't come to the conclusion that Joseph Smith was legit.

Every cult and religion basically makes this claim. Hell, so do most political groups.

Are you fucking stupid?

A better question is: "Do you think Moses wrote about his own death after he died?"

>>16606747

We're not continuing this next bread because you're too legitimately stupid and disingenuous to talk to.