HEY DICKHEADS, MY GIRL NEVER TALKS TO ME AND I FOUND A GUY THAT SAYS I HAVE REALLY NICE EYES. SHOULD I LET HIM COME OVER? I REALLY LIKE THE ATTENTION HE GIVES ME. HE TREATS ME LIKE I MATTER.

DICKHEADS, I LOVE MY NEW GUY. I WAITED 30 YEARS FOR MY GIRL, BUT THEN I MET HIM AND OH LAWD I FORGOT ALL ABOUT MY GIRL!