>SO FAR
AND SO FAR MY MEDICAL CONDITION IN MY DAMAGED NERVE HAS DONE PERHAPS EVEN THE MOST DAMAGE FOR IT SIMPLY DISTRACTS ME FROM THINKING AND FOCUS AND CONCENTRATION AND I FIGURED THAT ALL OUT ONLY THE PAST YEAR OR TWO, I NEVER KNEW THIS OTHER THAN SOME KIND OF RESTLESSNESS WHICH I THOUGHT MIGHT BE RELATED TO SOME TRAUMA SO I TRIED MEDITATIONS ON A REMOTE TROPICAL ISLAND AND I COULD READ ENTIRE BOOKS AND WRITE ENTIRE PIECES OF CODE, BUT OVER HERE I CANNOT EVEN OPEN A BOOK OR EVEN LOOK AT THE CODE BECAUSE NOTHING WORKS IN THIS PLACE I AM LIVING AND I NEEDED TO MOVE BUT I SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN LIVING LIKE THIS FOR FIVE YEARS THAT WAS A VERY BAD IDEA AND I AM DESTORYED ALREADY BY JUST THIS SITUATION BEFORE I EVER HAD A FLASH AND IDEA ABOUT BEING PART OF THIS PLAN IN MARCH THIS YEAR, THAT ALL IS JUST EXTRA FOOD FOR THOUGHT AND I CANNOT DO ANYTHING WITH THAT EITHER, NO REST TO THINK!!!