Dude you need help. Go see someone and take this off an anon board.
There is nothing that we can do, you are obv a person who needs help, so seek it! Go see a shrink or something.
Yourmanipulatorsare not here and you have to get help.
No one wants to hear your bullshit on here because this is not the place for you to get help, this is a place for research and shitposting dank memes. go whinge on facebook or something