Access to what? The past. The future?
The moment you thought to answer, you left the past behind, which you did live and wish to perceive as the everlasting now.
The connundrum is the product of your subjectivbe perception of reality. This should not blilnd you to reality. It should bind you to reality.
I reside now, sure. And resided, also. And will reside, yeh. The linearity is perhaps what causes you consternation with reality. The altlernative, I suppose, is to delude oneself and to invite others to join you in the quicksand. It is a peaceful invitation and that is appreciated.
That is all.