My house burned down……
How I saved my home, by watching it burn, while withholding the water from the hose.
I believed God, Country, Neighbor, and Fire Department would surely race to my aide. I paid my taxes, tithed in church, and religiously watched the news. I had visions of greatness, the American spirit, and did I mention I paid my taxes.
I followed my government's orders, quit watering my lawn for the smelt, allowed illegal immigrants to grow weed while camping behind my house managing a human smuggling camp, and paid my taxes. I studied the law of attraction, I got DJT into the previous black house, and just knew my water bill would be to high from the recent rate increases and hidden taxes.
I believed, attracted, and virtue signaled that fire into visualized submission.
I waited to long, by the time I turned on the water hose, it was no match for the all consuming flame.
I'm now without a home, the insurance company declined to payout on my policy because the neighbor filmed me from across the street holding my hose and not putting out the fire. I pay my taxes, am a good boy, why has America forsaken me?
I am reinvigorated though, as my new law of attraction, has me eagerly campaigning and donating money to DJT. Just something about DJT and his motivational frog and scorpion tale has visions of America being great again, dancing (Israeli's) in my head, donating to MAGA candidates, and of course paying my (fair share) taxes.