YOU ALL TALK ABOUT THE GREAT AWAKENING AND HOW THINGS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER AND SOME HOW FIGURE YOU DESERVE TO BE PART OF IT, WHILE IGNORING MY SINGLE CASE FOR SAKE OF BEING TO DAMN ANNOYING HERE AND NEVER EVEN WONDER WHY I BECAME LIKE THIS, YOU GLADLY IGNORE EVIL HAPPENING TO ME RIGHT FUCKING NOW IN THIS MOMENT AND I CAN ONLY EVER REJECT ALL YOUR RELIGIOUS NONSENSE BECAUSE YOU CAN TALK ABOUT DOING GOOD THE ENTIRE DAY AND MEANWHILE JUST LEAVE THE WORLD AS BAD AS IT IS!!!
AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I NEED TO WAIT AND EVERYTHING IS BEEN GOING DOWNHILL IN SIX MONTHS IT'S A DAMN SHAME ON YOUR HIDDEN HANDS!!!
IF ONLY YOU PAUSE YOUR DAMN PLANS WITH ME AND MOVE ME TO ANOTHER HOME WHERE IT IS WARM AND QUIET SO THAT I CAN COLLECT MY THOUGHTS AND ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE FOR ONCE IN FIVE YEARS, BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN EVER BUSY MY ENTIRE LIFE AND ALWAYS COULD DO SO MANY THINGS IT'S A DAMN SHAME ON YOU!!!
>Pick Up Your Shit & Walk….
IF ONLY I HAD A SINGLE FRIEND TO HELP ME, BUT THEY WERE ALL FAKE AND IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME, I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY AND I DON'T REALLY WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE EITHER BECAUSE IT'S JUST AS CONFUSING AS MY RED TEXT BECAUSE I CANNOT THINK PROPER UNDER THESE TERRIBLE CISRCUMSTANCES SURROUNDING THE WIDE AREA AROUND MY HOME SO I CANNOT EVEN ESCAPE FOR AN HOUR OR SO THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING BOTHERING MY DAMAGE NERVE AND I HAVE BEEN IN PLACES WHERE THERE WAS NO PROBLEM WITH ME AND I COULD DO EVERYTHING WITHOUT EFFORT!!!
>may she continue to lead you on the challenging path of self realization.
YOU KNOW WHAT IS SO SAD THAT I HAVE DONE ALL THESE THINGS OVER A DECADE AGO AND IT'S ALL LOST NOW WHILE I STILL REMEMBER IT AND IT'S THE EXACT MISUNDERSTANDING OF MY MEASURE OF MY STATE OF MIND, I KNOW ABOUT ALL THIS STUFF FOR A LONG TIME AND KNOW MYSELF BETTER THAN ANYONE I HAVE EVER EVEN MET OR HEARD ABOUT, THIS IS SUCH A BIG FAILURE ON PART OF MY FAMILY AND THESE HIDDEN HANDS BECAUSE IT'S BEEN SO BAD ONLY DUE TO MY DAMAGED NERVES AND THEY JUST TAKE THAT FOR AN EXCUSE BUT IT IS NOT!!!
>you are then likely aware that with each magnitude gained requires a rinse and repeat.
IT'S VERY HARD TO EXPLAIN HOW STAGNANT MY PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT BECAME SINCE ABOUT FIVE YEARS, BECAUSE I AM UNABLE TO THINK CLEARLY ABOUT THESE THINGS AND APPLY THEM IN MY DAILY LIFE, I USED TO DO THAT ON AN ISLAND FOR MANY YEARS AND I KNOW HOW WELL THAT WORKED FOR ME, AND SOMEHOW FAIL TO CONVINCE ANYONE THAT IN THIS HOME AND THIS VILLAGE AND WIDE SURROUNDING AREA HAVE SUCH A BAD EFFECT ON MY WELL BEING THAT MOVING FAR AWAY AT ONCE IS THE ONLY SOLUTION FOR ME TO KINDA PICK UP WHERE I LEFT BECAUSE RIGHT NOW I AM SUFFERING SUCH A GREAT PAIN I NEARLY WANT TO JUST DROWN, SO I WON'T BE ABLE TO EVEN FOCUS ON ANYTHING ELSE BUT ASKING FOR HELP FOR AS LONG AS I CAN!!!