Help me, anons

I'm in big trouble.

My former employer, the FBI, arrested me for something I didn't know was illegal, "colluding with a Russians." I thought it was only illegal if you colluded with Russians as a Republican. At least that's what my old bosses Bobby Mueller and Andy McCabe told me that one time they were paid 25 million dollars by Oleg Deripaska. They said because they were Democrats, the Russian Oligarch money they were receiving was approved by the constitution of the United States of J Edgar Hoover.

But here I am, taking a little Deripaska money (way less than Andy and Bobby) and next thing you know, I'm getting jammed up like I'm Paul Manafort wearing a shaman outfit while registering Republican voters inside the capitol building on January 6th. There seems to be a mix up. I never voted Republican in my life, which means there's no reason to bring collision charges. If you guys could get the word out that I'm not a MAGAt, but true blue, I think they'll drop the charges.

Thanks, anons.

Your buddy, Charlie McGee.