Hear my prayer oh militant sons of Loyola! I have worked diligently from the inside lo these many years to trample underfoot the profane and bastard conception of the Protestant scourge: The United States Constitution. I am now losing all benefit of my government office and my personal security is greatly endangered by the rabble and goyims of this illegitimate country. Surround me now with the true Soldiers of the Holy Mother Church and grant protection from all evil. Exorcise the evil and stand vigilant for me that I may live to fight another day against Liberty and Justice for all, the false promise of deluded heretics! There will be open bar and cooked to order prime beef on the patio.
Hear my prayer oh militant sons of Loyola! I have worked diligently from the inside lo these many years to trample underfoot the profane and bastard conception of the Protestant scourge: The United States Constitution. I am now losing all benefit of my government office and my personal security is greatly endangered by the rabble and goyims of this illegitimate country. Surround me now with the true Soldiers of the Holy Mother Church and grant protection from all evil. Exorcise the evil and stand vigilant for me that I may live to fight another day against Liberty and Justice for all, the false promise of deluded heretics! There will be open bar and cooked to order prime beef on the patio. Those among you selected will enjoy lucrative be benefits and compensation for your services toward my continued security.
In vini deo Jesu Christi.
I have stockpiled an arsenal of the finest small arms and most lethal ammunition. Acceptance of your tenure grants you a federal firearms license and concealed carry permit coast to coast.
Please attend the Exorcism.