Most of the other victims I met at the facility were in worse shape than I was. A lifetime of abuse tends to do that to a person. I'm unique because of my disability that gives me mental resets so it makes me more resistant to abuse. Still I'm pretty messed up as anyone would be after dozens of attempts to murder me and every single family member, and "friend" trying to destroy me… well that is hard to deal with.
I don't really think of myself as a real person most of the time I just think of myself in third person and whatever I am it's not the person that got abused… hard to explain, but I do think being nice and helping other people is a way to feel better. Often I imagine I'm helping the kid me that nobody helped it's kind of my secret motivation.
Thankfully the good guys won : )
My side isn't like the more commonly known side of the cult victims… my side of the victims of the cult is the torture until death on camera side not the sex slave side - tho I was nearly a sex slave (my mother tried to hand me over to them when I was 4-5)
Tho in a way we are all victims as the cult attacks the very society with their propaganda and so I can't imagine what you went through. I'm very sorry : ( but the world is getting better, they are literally saving the world!