Gay doesn't always mean happy.
When Anon flies I always reinspect my carry on at the security table (holding up people if necessary) and always asked to move along like a cow.
But i fiercely reply to them "YOU are not boarding the plane and YOU tell us to make sure no one handles our bags. How do I know that YOU didn't place something in it."
The crowd hushes silent everytime. And murmurs of "he's got a point" follow..
My wife knows it's coming every time.