Just thought you guys should know: Anyone who’s ever mentioned the word “QAnon” in a positive light is currently under FISA surveillance.
And if you want me to be honest, you kind of deserve it. Everybody knows QAnon leads to domestic violent extremism, because we’ve seen with our own eyes the countless examples of QAnon followers committing serious crimes. Plus, just because you think you’re in an anonymous chat room doesn’t mean you can lie and spread conspiracy theories.
So here’s the deal: Despite the fact that you’ve disgraced your country and embarrassed your families, the Biden Administration is giving you an out. That’s right, you’re being given a chance to have all your crimes expunged granted a pardon. All you have to do is record yourself getting down on your knees and reciting the following, word for word:
>“I (state your full name and social security number) apologize for being a QAnon supporter. It was wrong of me to spread lies and conspiracy theories online. My actions have done tremendous damage to my country, and I promise I’ll never do it again. Please try to find it in your hearts to forgive me. I am on my knees begging you to give me another chance. If I violate your trust again, you can send me to federal prison to live out the rest of my days in solitary confinement.”
There it is anon. Your ticket out of this miss you’ve created for yourself. You have until the end of THIS bread to 1. record and 2. post your apology. Failure to comply with the terms of this agreement will be in violation of federal law, a crime punishable up to 75 years in prison and a $250,000 fine.
Choose wisely.