>fires
I divorced mine. Hard to do, but now I am the person my parents remember as a bright soul. I had let ex "put me in a box in the basement closet" before I took action. But my self-love was gone, so I had to beef that up first.
Her responding to that is a solid proof she's
not
a chronic narcissist, who have a track record (across the spectrum of severity) of not changing in response to a challenge. You do right to stay with her.