Because somebody had to do it:
Friends in Low Places
To get all the big deals
I showed up in heels
Now fags know that I really care
The last one to know
That my dick had to go
Trish was the last one
To learn I’m a “their”.
And I saw the surprise
And the look in her eyes
When I took her glass of champagne
And I toasted her
Said honey, we’re now a were
And my dick looks a bowl like chow mein.
Now I've got pain in low places
Coz my junk is gone
And the thought of it chases my friends away
But it’ll be ok.
Coz I’ve got tits as big as Dolly’s
Now I don’t need Trish to get my jollies
But I've got pain in low places
Well they tell me I’m wrong
And I don’t belong
My music has lost it’s appeal
Everything's all right
I'll just have a Bud Light
But my vagina is less that ideal.
Hey I didn't mean
To cause a big scene
Just come to my bar and see
Tho I’m not a guy
And my voice has gone high
And I sit down now to pee
And I've got pain in low places
Coz my junk is gone
And the thought of it chases my friends away
But it’ll be ok.
Well, come to Brooks coz my bar embraces
All the men in heels and made-up faces
Coz I need friends
For my low places.
Now I've got pain in low places
Coz my junk is gone
And the thought of it chases my friends away
But it’ll be ok.
Coz I’ve got tits as big as Dolly’s
Now I don’t need Trish to get my jollies
But I've got pain in low places