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BAD NEWS FOR OBAMA
CSI Expert Says Tafari Campbell Death Is Most Likely A Case Of Homicide
MICHELLE GOES INTO HIDING
"We don't know where she went or where she is right now," said an inside source on condition their name not be used. "We haven't seen her since the night of the drowning."
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OBAMA'S UPPED THE LIABILITY COVERAGE ON THEIR MARTHA'S VINEYARD ESTATE ONLY DAYS BEFORE TAFARI CAMPBELL'S DEATH
According to an insurance industry insider, the property was upgraded with a $15 million liability rider earlier this month.
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OBAMA PROTECTING MICHELLE AND THE GIRLS
According To Unverified Sources Michelle Or Obama's Daughters May Have Been The Second Paddleboarder Who Failed To Help Tafari Campbell
All Of Them Are Avid Paddleboarders According To Insiders
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MICHELLE'S PRESIDENTIAL ASPIRATIONS SINK
"All the buzz is gone," said a prominent party pollster. "Before the Tafari Campbell drowning her name was actively being floated but now everything is dead in the water."
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MICHELLE GOES INTO HIDING
"We don't know where she went or where she is right now," said an inside source on condition their name not be used. "We haven't seen her since the night of the drowning."
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OBAMA'S CANCEL ALL PUBLIC APPEARANCES UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE
According to inside sources the decision was made on the advise of their lawyers and advisors.
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RESCUERS SURPRISED TO FIND TAFARI CAMPBELL WEARING SNEAKERS AND SOCKS
According to well placed sources he wasn't in a wetsuit or swimming trunks.
"He was in a Tshirt and board shorts and looked more like a picnicker than a paddleboarder."
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Massachusetts State Police Under Strict Orders Not To Comment On Tafari Campbell Case
"They made everyone there that night sign a scary sounding letter," said an inside source. "We're not allowed to even say you-know-whose name."
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