Shift your focus from the external that you can't control to strengthening your family. They need you and are a good enough of a reason to stick around. Be grateful for what you have. There is work out there. Sober up is step one. Pray. Good luck fren.
>too many health problems
research earthing, all you have to do is put your bare feet on the ground, or connect a wire to grounding rod and yourself
reduces inflammation, thins blood, increases antibody production, normalizes cortisol levels
no, that's your choice, you can change at any moment